Second Chances
by TheGirlWhoRemembers
Summary: "I'm the sort of guy who tries to see the best in people. Part of seeing the best in people involves giving the people you think deserve one – so, definitely not Murdoc - second chances…" Mac muses on second chances, finding fairytale endings in his line of work and his dad. Episode tag to 2.15, Murdoc and Handcuffs.


AN: Thoughts on 2.15, Murdoc + Handcuffs, complete with spoilers, at the end of this.

* * *

 **MACGYVER'S RESIDENCE**

 **LA**

* * *

 _I'm the sort of guy who tries to see the best in people._

 _I admit, sometimes, I don't manage it. And as a result, I've said and done things that I've regretted._

 _And with some people, there isn't any good to be seen._

 _Just because I'm supposedly a Boy Scout doesn't mean I don't know why Murdoc saved me._

 _He definitely, definitely didn't do it out of the goodness of his heart, out of any fellow-feeling for his fellow man or anything like that._

 _He only did it because he could get something he wanted more by saving me._

 _But, part of seeing the best in people involves giving the people you think deserve one – so, definitely not Murdoc - second chances…_

* * *

Sitting at the kitchen counter, Mac sipped his ginger beer (he wasn't allowed alcohol at the present moment) as Bozer and Riley bickered good-naturedly in the kitchen, where they were cooking fish tacos.

(Bozer, Riley and Diane wanted Mexican. Mac and Jack had vetoed anything containing beans. Fish tacos were thus the logical choice.)

Or, more accurately, Bozer was cooking the fish tacos, while Riley acted as his assistant. She was chopping coriander while Bozer handled the marinating of the fish, though, Mac noted, his best friend was telling Riley the precise ingredients and the precise ratios of them that he used for the marinade, which was supposedly a 'top secret' recipe that Bozer had (futilely) tried to keep a secret from Mac for years.

That made Mac smile into his ginger beer, and he pushed away that little prickle of jealousy he felt, that unpleasant little voice in his head that he loathed and tried his very best not to listen to.

The rest of him was happy and hopeful for Bozer and Riley, happy and hopeful for his friends-who-were-family, happy and hopeful that they might be finding the closest thing to a fairytale ending that one in their line of work could get.

(They'd seemed closer since the week before, like something had shifted a bit between them, in a good way. He'd come home from New Orleans to find the two of them sharing knowing little smiles, like they both knew a secret that the others didn't, just that little bit closer than they'd been before he, Jack and Matty had headed to the Big Easy.)

Mac took another sip of ginger beer, as Matty, who'd been sitting on a stool beside him, sipping her own ginger beer (Mac didn't know _why_ his boss had chosen a non-alcoholic beverage – knowing Matty, it could have been anything from a gesture of sympathy via solidarity to her just wanting ginger beer over regular beer, and he'd never find out what it was. He told that voice – which wasn't quite as little as the jealous voice – that resentfully murmured that Matty kept _far_ too much from him, including stuff that should be his _right_ to know, to shut up. Matty's job as Director required her to keep secrets from them, sometimes. Mac accepted that, just like he accepted that his job had required him to keep so much from Bozer for so long, still required him to keep so much from Penny. He didn't _like_ it, but he accepted it as part of the job. Matty was _family._ He didn't think she'd keep secrets unnecessarily; she _had_ revealed the reality of the Phoenix to Diane, and despite what she said about it being more dangerous for Diane _not_ to know, Mac knew that it couldn't have been the only reason – it was the _main_ one, he was sure; Matty was a professional, but not the _only_ one.), got up and headed out to the deck to answer a phone call.

Mac sipped his ginger beer again and glanced over to the living room, where Jack and Diane were sitting on the couch, Diane laughing musically at something Jack had said, the Texan grinning, rather like the cat who'd gotten the cream.

He felt that jealous little voice speak up again, disturbing the rest of him, which, of course, felt only happiness and hope for his partner and Diane, and he shoved that voice firmly aside.

He looked away again as Diane leaned over to whisper something into Jack's ear, the moment feeling far too private to even glance at, staring at his front door instead as he sipped more ginger beer.

* * *

 _Almost a year and a half ago, Jack got Riley a second chance._

 _And a couple of months ago, she gave her dad a second chance._

 _Now, I think Riley might be giving Bozer a second chance._

 _And Jack and Diane have a second chance._

 _I honestly have no idea what's going on with my dad._

 _I'm not sure if he actually wants me to find him, or whether he's leaving me breadcrumbs because he needs me to do something for him or he's trying to warn me about something._

 _I know now that what I said to him just before he left almost-certainly isn't why he left._

 _At least, it wasn't the only reason._

 _If I do find him, I know I'm going to have to say I'm sorry for that, start that conversation that we need to have._

 _Sure, I was a kid, I was hurting, and he'd grown really distant over those five years, and he was the one who abandoned me, but we did both hurt each other._

 _I need to say sorry, he needs to say sorry, and we need to have a good, long and honest conversation._

 _And only after that can we try and rebuild our relationship._

 _Have our second chance._

 _But, in a way, it feels like these little clues he's leaving me are a second chance of sorts._

 _He's reaching out and offering me one. Or part of one, anyway. Trying to build a bridge between us._

 _I honestly don't know if I can or will reciprocate._

 _Part of me really, really wants to. He's my dad._

 _Part of me…well, part of me is still that just-turned-ten kid waiting for his dad to come home for his birthday party, hoping – in hindsight – against all hope, given that growing chasm – and trust me, it was a chasm – between us and what happened before he left for his 'business trip'._

 _And part of me is wondering if it's a good idea. Given the nature of the breadcrumbs he's been dropping, I don't need to be a genius to know that my dad's not spending his time fishing._

 _Right now, I have no idea, and I don't think I'm going to until – or if – we have that conversation._

 _Luckily, I'm pretty good at working things out on the fly._

* * *

AN: And a moment later, Matty's going to walk back inside with some really bad news…but I'm leaving it there! What did you guys think? Did that hit the spot? Have I got a reasonable depiction/interpretation of Mac's feelings and thoughts about his dad?

Mac misinterpreting (at least, _somewhat_ misinterpreting – still no idea if we're going to get endgame Bozer/Riley or Bozer-and-Riley-are-just-really-good-friends-forever) what's going on with Bozer and Riley is officially my new headcanon. So is Jack and Mac developing a bit of an aversion to beans!

Thoughts on 2.15, Murdoc + Handcuffs: oh, hell yeah! That was an awesome episode – creepy Murdoc, Mac and Jack bonding, a little more on Mac's search for his dad, including some backstory, Jack/Diane (my favourite Jack ship – well, more than half the time! And Mac encouraging Jack to give it a go and try for a fairytale…that was a really nice little moment!), the charades game (oh, the charades game!)…

I gotta say, daddy!Murdoc is really disconcerting, but in a very fascinating and very, well, _Murdoc_ way. And I've got a little theory – Mac's mom did not die of illness caused by natural causes; she was poisoned or deliberately infected with something by some kind of enemy of Mac's dad (who is some kind of covert operative…or was actually a bad guy who went straight after meeting Mac's mom and falling in love with her, even). So, in a way, what Mac said to his dad was actually true and really, really hit home; Mac's dad _could_ be blamed for his mom's death and he blames himself for it. That is not the only reason why he left (he had to go and resume his old life in some way to protect his son), but it was a contributing factor….am I crazy? Or do you think I might be close? I guess we gotta wait to find out, but hey, I'd like to know what you think!


End file.
